A Difference of Oppinion
by Xilex90
Summary: When Jounouchi gives Ryou a dirty magazine, A displeased Yami Bakura decides to voice his oppinion on modern women. crack fic


Ryou sat in the corner of the club Yugi and the rest of his friends had invited him to come to. Yugi was playing a video game as the others danced. Anzu of course, being a natural, made the rest of them look like rookies. Jounouchi walked over, holding a rolled up magazine in his hand "Hey, Ryou, check out this Skin mag I found in the arcade room!" He thrusted the magazine into his hands, the magazine unfolding as it hit his fumbling hands.

Ryou stared at the cover, his eyes widening, "Oh, my...!"

"Bet you ain't got THOSE in England, huh? Turn to page 45..."

Ryou did as he asked without question,"Well... look at that..." he said, a sheepish grin forming on his face, "I've never seen legs THAT long..."

"Heh heh heh, I'll just let you look that over while I bust some moves on the dance floor with Yugi and the others," he said walking off.

Ryou continued to browse the magazine.

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Bakura crossed his arms as his host examined the magazine. "_I don't see the draw in looking at a book filled with pictures of half naked women who clearly __don't eat enough..." _he commented.

"Because they're gorgeous," Ryou said

"_Ha! you don't know what gorgeous **is**, Ryou,"_ he scoffed_, "Real women don't starve themselves __like this booklet __suggests..."_ he smirked_, "Then again, since you've never been with one, I __wouldn't __expect you to know that..."_

Ryou stiffened, looking up at the spirit of his ring, "You don't know everything! Models eat every two hours. Not big meals, but apples and peanuts... things like that."

_"Oh, yes, Apples and peanuts, **very** filling..."_ Bakura said sarcastically

"It's not the size that matters, it's how you use it," Ryou said. Bakura let out a highly amused cackle. Ryou made a confused face "What's so funny?"

"_If you don't know, Ryou, I'm certainly not going to waste my time explaining it to you,"_ he said, still chuckling, "_Now, let's __discard that trash and I'll show you what a real woman looks like..._" He added, seizing control of his host's body.

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Bakura tossed the magazine onto the table, a look of distaste on his face. He straitened his black jacket, and headed for the door.

"Hey, Ryou, where're you going?" Honda asked, seeing him from the corner of his eye as he danced alongside Jounouchi near some beautiful girls wearing school uniforms. "I just remembered something I have to do," Bakura said, imitating his host perfectly,"I'll meet back up with you guys afterwards, alright?"

"Sure thing!" Jounouchi said flashing a thumbs up as they continued dancing. Bakura smirked as he slipped out of the building and walked down the street.

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Ryou struggled against his control, "_Where are you taking us?" _

"Somewhere , Ryou, Where I shall show you the kind of woman you SHOULD be reading smutty magazines about..." he said.

"_I don't think I want to..." _Ryou said, getting a bad feeling. Bakura chuckled, "What? Nervous are we? I'm only doing what I think is best for you. Do you remember how I saved your life on Kaiba's blimp in that duel with Yugi? If he'd attacked, your injuries would have worsened and you would have probably died."

"_That's only because you need my body to survive_," Ryou protested, "_You only did it for yourself..._"

" I **could** have let you lay there in pain and gambled on Yugi's decision, "he snapped at his host "I willingly sacrificed a victory in order to protect you. Be grateful I care THAT much about you and your weak body. "

Ryou had no time to respond as Bakura suddenly stopped"Oh yes, there's one now...take a good look, Bakura, THAT is a real woman..."

He released control of Ryou's mind, allowing the boy to see what stood across the street.

Ryou's eyes widened in confusion "But...she's...uh..."

"S_upple?"_ the spirit of the ring filled in

"she's got to weight at least 230 pounds!" Ryou said.

"_Exactly,"_ Bakura said, "_In Egypt, when I was alive, a woman who was of girth meant that she __was__ healthy __and well off. I like big women."_

"Um...no offense, but I'm just not a chubby chaser..."

"A chubby what?" Bakura asked.

"It means-"

_"Never mind, I figured it out on my own,"_ the spirit said, "_You're a fool, Ryou...Obviously I will have to __be in __charge of whom you ever decide to finaly sleep with or else you'll probably end up with some wraith __with blonde hair. __And I refuse to allow that."_

_"_But I-"

_"Silence. We're going back to the club now,"_ Bakura said, once again taking control of his host, "And I better not catch you reading one of those tooth-pick women magazines again, do I make myself clear?"

"_It's my body!" _Ryou protested.

"Yes, well I'm sharing it with you and I refuse to have to look at those things. Now, be quiet, you're annoying me. Be good and I might buy us one of those cream puffs you like so much..." he said with a smirk.

Ryou sighed and waited for the Spirit of the Ring to let him take over once more.

"_You're mean..."_

"Thank you."

* * *

**_DID SOME REVISIONS. changed the names to japanese one_**


End file.
